Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize