After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
