I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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