is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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