Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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