Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
