I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize