Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
