Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
