I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
