yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
