Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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