Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Randomize
