What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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