You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
