this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
