New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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