just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We need a shit load of segways right now
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
