Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Who died my cat blue again?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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