I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry about my life...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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