allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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