its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She needs sedatives and a leash
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
