Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
