I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Randomize
