We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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