so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
