Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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