i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
