What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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