I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
