I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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