mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
