I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
