I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize