Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
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