Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
