is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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