i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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