Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
