Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
