you guys were way drunker than both of me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
