i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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