We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
