He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
