ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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