That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
