I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
