The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
