I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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