I don't remember. Are we still dating?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
