Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
