There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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