end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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