mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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