Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
