I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
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