he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
